


Drunk in Love

by Shotzee



Series: Moments in Time [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: I Tried, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sex, bottom!Sanghyuk, cannon applicable, just jaehwan and sanghyuk fan fics cuz there isn't enough, mention of other memebers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 14:10:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18074897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shotzee/pseuds/Shotzee
Summary: Jaehwan tries very hard not to break his promise to Sanghyuk, but staying broken up is proving harder than he thought.





	Drunk in Love

Jaehwan was sure that he’d had one too many drinks when that dammed yellow and black diamond sweater started to look cute. Not in the way that Sanghyuk looked good in it, but in the way Jaehwan wouldn’t mind throwing it on after fucking him. He knew the Dingo live for Scentist was a complete fucking mess, but he also knew that Starlights didn’t mind it. They liked seeing them having fun.

 

He wished Sanghyuk hadn’t given him quite so many drinks though. He just kept them coming even when the others hadn’t had any. Jaehwan felt like he was twice as drunk as everyone else. He was going to have to yell at him later for giving him so much, but right now he just had to focus on getting to the car without any injuries. Jaehwna thought he was doing good until his foot caught on a chair that then stabbed him in the stomach.  

 

 “Careful” Sanghyuk’s laugh sent a chill down Jaehwan’s spine which was soothed by Sanghyuk’s hand. “You’re so drunk.”

 

“Well, maybe if someone hadn’t given me so much to drink.” It took Jaehwan a little longer than he had liked to get the sentence out.

 

Sanghyuk only laughed as his fingers grabbed a handful of Jaehwan’s jacket to keep him upright and away from chairs. Jaehwan slipped his arm around Sanghyuk’s shoulders for balance as they stumbled out of the restaurant and into the car. 

 

Sanghyuk shoved him into the car first, pushing him towards the window seat in the back row. Jaehwan reached blindly behind him grabbing for Sanghyuk. Jaehwan smiled as Sanghyuk plopped down next to him. Jaehwan knew he shouldn’t be near Sanghyuk. He was trying so hard to keep his promise, but right now the heat off of Sanghyuk’s body and the softness of that yellow vest was just oh, so tempting. Jaehwan shoved his hands in his pockets to keep himself from grabbing the younger’s thick thighs that were pressed against his, looking out the window as not to stare at the younger.

 

 Jaehwan pulled his jacket tighter around himself as he snuggled into his corner. He was singing along to some pop song that Wonshik had turned on when he felt Sanghyuk’s head fall onto his shoulder. He missed the next lyrics that Wonshik was jamming to when Sanghyuk nuzzled into the crook of his neck. The smell of day old cologne and alcohol filled Jaehwan’s nose. Sanghyuk’s sweet thick voice whispered the next line of the song as hot breath against Jaehwan's neck sent shivers down his spine.

 

Jaehwan bit his lip knowing what this meant for him and that damn promise. He tried to keep singing as Sanghyuk’s teeth caught his skin sending a pool of heat down to his groin. Jaehwan cursed himself as he grabbed the inside of Sanghyuk’s thigh. His hand rested there gently fingers grazing a little too high to be considered friendly. Sanghyuk sucked on a small portion of Jaehwan’s neck slow and lazy like. Jaehwan wanted more than anything for Sanghyuk to stay as he was, but there were too many people in such a small space. Jaehwan gave his thigh a squeeze to warn him they might be seen. Sanghyuk reluctantly released Jaehwan’s neck to rest his head on Jaehwan’s shoulder.

 

Jaehwan knew he should remove his hand from Sanghyuk’s thigh seeing as Sanghyuk had removed his lips from his neck, but the alcohol seemed to have seeped into his senses. Instead, Jaehwan let his hand slide even higher on Sanghyuk’s leg his fingers opting to dance on the seam in Sanghyuk’s jeans. He could feel Sanghyuk’s breath catch as Wonshik turned around to sing at Jaehwan. Jaehwan sang back at him in a ridiculous manner pretending like he didn’t have his hand almost on Sanghyuk’s dick. Wonshik didn’t seem to notice or care.

 

They had managed to get home without more than Jaehwan casually rubbing Sanghyuk’s upper thigh and Sanghyuk sneaking kisses of Jaehwan’s neck. Jaehwan felt the alcohol wearing off bit by bit the closer they got to home. He knew that he would regret this later, but right now the feeling of Sanghyuk holding him and touching him was all he could have asked for in the world. In the matter of minutes they arrived home. It wasn’t long before Sanghyuk pulled himself reluctantly away from Jaehwan in favor of moving into the warm apartment.   

 

Jaehwan wasn’t sure whether it was the alcohol or the dick in his pants, but he had to admit that the hideous yellow sweater was looking better and better each step closer to the apartment. Jaehwan felt was holding his breath. He felt like he was waiting for Sanghyuk to run away or vanish, but he didn’t. Jaehwan opted instead to latch onto Sanghyuk’s belt loops to make sure he was here. Sanghyuk’s hands covered his encouraging him to stay where he was and assuring him he wasn’t going anywhere.

 

Sanghyuk led them into their joint room and it felt to Jaehwan like he could finally take his first real breath. Jaehwan felt Sanghyuk turning in his grip, and he let go to allow him to turn around. Sanghyuk opened his mouth to say something, but all the emotions that had been building finally exploded and instead of speaking Sanghyuk kissed him.

 

Jaehwan immediately kissed him back. All of the rules and promises flying away with just a single action. Jaehwan wished he could say that he fought back, told Sanghyuk that his was not what was agreed upon, but that would be a lie. He succumbed to Sanghyuk’s touch with in seconds. He had melted into the younger’s body allowing himself to be pulled close into the familiar warmth that he had craved.

 

Jaehwan separated from Sanghyuk just long enough to push the younger into his bedroom door. His hands roamed all over the younger’s body; he need to memorize the taste of him, the scent, the feeling, every little bit he could. Jaehwan nipped at Sanghyuk’s neck. The familiar taste of Sanghyk’s salty skin filling his mouth. Jaehwan could feel the vibrations of his voice as the younger spoke.

 

“Don’t you dare give me a hickey.” Sanghyuk whispered. A moan managing to slip out again.

 

Jaehwan released his neck, per request, in favor for kissing his lips. Sanghyuk surprised Jaehwan by jutting his hips forward hoping for some sort of friction. Jaehwan obliged grinding into him while his hands grasped at Sanghyuk’s waist. Jaehwan frowned into their kiss, his hands not quite fitting around Sanghyuk’s large waist the way he wanted them to. Jaehwan clawed at Sanghyuk’s waist pining him to the door of his room as if trying to mold sanghyuk's hips the way he wanted them to be.  Sanghyuk gasped into their kiss as Jaehwan felt the younger’s dick through his jeans. Sanghyuk’s hands moved to unbuckle Jaehwan’s belt as he bit and nipped at Jaehwan’s neck. Jaehwan felt a shiver run down his spine as the younger undid is pants and slipped his hand in between their bodies cupping Jaehwan’s dick. Jaehwan moaned louder than he would have liked to as he felt the bright shade of pink on his cheeks.

 

“I’m too drunk for this.” Jaehwan mumbled as Sanghyuk’s hot breath seemed to almost burn his neck.

 

“I know.” Sanghyuk replied. Sanghyk’s free hand ran through Jaehwan’s soft silky hair. His lips kissing Jaehwan’s again. “I can’t do this.”

 

“I know.” Jaehwan whispered as he kissed Sanghyuk’s lips one last time before taking a step back.

 

He mourned the loss of contact as he felt Sanghyuk’s hands falling from his body and Sanghyuk’s body slipping from his grip. Jaehwan couldn’t help but scan him up and down. The younger was a mess. His hair facing every which way. The remnants of his makeup was smeared across his face. Glistening wet trails littered Sanghyuk’s neck and face. His shirt was mostly unbuttoned but still half tucked into his half unzipped pants. His underwear had been pulled down just enough to make Jaehwan want to pull them off even more. Jaehwan could only imagine how he himself looked.

 

 Jaehwan’s eyes met the younger’s and it was as if he suddenly realized where he was and what he’d been doing. Sanghyuk frantically shoved his shirt back into his pants as he brushed past the Jaehwan.  Jaehwan couldn’t watch him leave. He was too afraid that he would go after him. So, instead he stood there in silence staring at his door waiting to hear his footsteps fade.

 

“Sanghyuk.” Jaehwan called after the younger. He heard the footsteps pause. “What if I wanted to break our agreement?”

 

There was a long pause. Jaehwan couldn’t turn around to see if he was still there because if he did, he would kiss him again.

 

“You’re drunk, Jaehwan. Get some sleep.” Sanghyuk whispered and the footsteps continued and then faded. Jaehwan closed his eyes, took a deep breathe, and then opened the door to his own room.

 

\---

 

Jaehwan let Sanghyuk pretend like he didn’t know what had almost happened that night. That meant letting Sanghyuk go back to ignoring him. Jaehwan didn’t want to think about what that meant for them right now. It all just seemed to be too much.

 

Jaehwan shoved himself into the corner of the elevator so that the others could file in. Sanghyuk ended up shoved against his side to make room for the manager. Sanghyuk muttered something under his breath that Jaehwan didn’t quite catch and wasn’t sure he wanted to. Jaehwan tried to push himself more into the wall trying to ignore the smell of Sanghyuk’s cologne as the younger bumped into him. He tried not to think about the heat coming off of Sanghyuk as the younger was smooshed against his side even more. That is until Sanghyuk’s hand brushed against Jaehwan’s.

 

Jaehwan held his breath as he felt Sanghyuk’s pinky gently cross over his own as Sanghyuk took another small step towards him in an attempt to fit one more person in the elevator. Jaehwan stared at his hand. He wanted to slip his whole hand under Sanghyuk’s so bad, but he settled for hooking his pinky gently against Sanghyuk’s. Jaehwan felt Sanghyuk go stiff as he faintly whispered Jaehwan’s name in warning. It was only then that Jaehwan looked up at Sanghyuk and saw his eyes narrowed in what seemed to be discontent. Jaehwan removed his hand from the banister and shoved it in his pocket biting his lip. Jaehwan noticed that Sanghyuk’s expression turned unreadable.  

 

The elevator reached their floor soon after and everyone started to get out. Jaehwan managed to move out of the elevator just before the doors closed. He watched Sanghyuk move as far away from him as possible. Jaehwan sighed and checked his phone for anything to distract him. The only update he had was random food recommendations from the ’92 line group chat. He thumbed through it anyways to try and pull himself way from the thoughts of Sanghyuk lingering in his mind. Jaehwan was not paying attention to the rooms list figuring the other half would be.

 

“Sanghyuk and Jaehwan, you’re in 435.” The manager shoved the room keys into Jaehwan’s hands as he continued to list off names and find people.  Jaehwan frowned

 

Jaehwan looked at the room key and then up at Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk stared at him with an unreadable expression plastered on his face. Jaehwan watched Sanghyuk’s eyes search his for some sort of reaction. He tried his best to give none. Jaehwan wondered if he should look away; this seemed too intimate, too fragile. Sanghyuk must have been thinking the same thing because he took this as a chance to look away and turn down the hall to follow Hakyeon.

 

Jaehwan followed him, slowly. He had the keys so there was no point in rushing in fear of being locked out. He figured Sanghyuk would be pouting at their door until he got there anyways. As he turned the corner he was surprised to find Sanghyuk holding Hakyeon’s sleeve to keep him in the hallway. Jaehwan stilled as Sanghyuk began to speak.

 

“Hakyeon, please.” Sanghyuk sounded desperate. “Don’t make me room with Jaehwan. I’ll buy you lunch for a week.”

 

“No. You and Jaehwan needs to work this shit out. I’m not switching hotel rooms every time you’re with Jaehwan.” Hakyeon opened his door. “Grow the fuck up.”

 

“Hakyeon.” Sanghyuk went to step forward, but Hakyeon shut the door in his face. Jaehwan watched Sanghyuk raise his hand to hit the door, but change his mind and instead rested his head against it.

 

Jaehwan wasn’t surprised. He knew it was strange that Sanghyuk hadn’t ended up as his roommate before this. He’d suspected that Sanghyuk had been switching rooms, but knowing it felt different. He felt like someone had slapped him in the face. The anger left Jaehwan as quickly as it had come because of a soft whimper of defeat that left Sanghyuk. Jaehwan wasn’t sure how to feel about being the cause of his suffering.

 

Half of him wished Sanghyuk would spit in his face and tell him he hated him. Then he would at least have a reason to not want to be around him and they could actually switch rooms. The other half knew this was partially his fault and wanted to apologize by reaching out to touch him and kiss him like he’d done the night before. Instead, he stood in his spot watching Sanghyuk breathe.

 

The younger finally stepped back from the door to see Jaehwan standing close by. Sanghyuk’s face was a mix of anger, frustration, and defeat. Jaehwan felt guilty, after all he was partially to blame. Jaehwan just wanted to smooth out the anger with his fingers, work the frustration from his shoulders, and kiss the guilt away, but he couldn’t.

 

 Sanghyuk trudged over to Jaehwan; His broad shoulders trying to roll out the tension as he approached. Jaehwan’s teeth caught his own lip as Sanghyk grabbed the key card from his hand. He wanted so badly just to brush against his fingers against Sanghyuk’s hand, but the younger was too quick. Jaehwan tried to look into his eyes, but Sanghyuk avoided his as he turned to move down the hall. Jaehwan shoved his hands in his pockets to prevent himself from grabbing onto the edge of Sanghyk’s shirt. His feet begged to follow Sanghyuk down the hall, but he couldn’t move; he didn’t want to do something he’d regret. His eyes were locked onto Sanghyuk’s retreating form as he moved down the hall way.

 

Jaehwan only moved after Sanghyuk had vanished into their room. He followed his former lover’s footsteps down the hall counting the doors quietly as he went. His goal was to get Sanghyuk out of his head by the time he entered the room, but he reached the door all too soon and the emotions of the night before came rushing back to him. He stood there for a good few seconds; his hand lingering on a propped open door that almost begged him to come in.

 

Jaehwan entered the room and quietly shut the door behind him. He hadn’t been surprised to find that Sanghyuk’s cloths were thrown about the room. He’d assumed Sanghyuk would have hopped in the shower the second they got here. His bag had been tossed on one of the beds with some of its contents spilled all over. Jaehwan moved to his own bed. He laid his bag on the floor before he fell backwards onto the bed. Jaehwan toed off his shoes, and ran his hands over his face. He could hear the faint run of the shower in the background.

 

Jaehwan figured he’d have at least 30 minutes to himself. A half hour to get the thoughts of Sanghyuk and the previous night off of his mind. Jaehwan didn’t feel like moving. Instead he just laid there on the bed facing the ceiling. He lazily pulled off his beanie and glasses and tossed them higher on the bed. He pulled up the soft yellow supreme sweater to untuck and unbutton the bottom of the stiff white button down he had on under it. Jaehwan unhooked the button on his pants and slid down the zipper. Jaehwan was too lazy to get up and grab some lotion instead choosing to spit into his hand. He listened for a second to make sure the shower was still on before slipping his hand inside his underwear.

 

Jaehwan watched his hand run up and down his cock underneath his jeans feeling himself getting harder. Jaehwan held back a moan as he pulled himself out of his pants a little bit more. Jaehwan let his mind wander trying to think of something to help get himself off. The only thing he could think of was the other night. Sanghyuk’s hands on him, his lips, and the way he moaned.  Jaehwan let his head fall to the side while his teeth chewed on his lip. It felt wrong to think about Sanghyuk. He tried to think of the porn he watched recently, but it wasn’t working. Jaehwan figured he’d have to grab his phone and turn on some porn to stop thinking of the younger. 

 

 Jaehwan’s eyes fluttered open to find the sound of soft moan echoing in the room. Jaehwan’s hand stilled around his fully hard cock. He caught sight of Sanghyuk leaned against the wall by the doorway. One hand gripping onto the towel, and the other gripping onto his own cock trough the fabric.  Jaehwan suddenly felt his gut twist and every nerve in his body light on fire at the realization that he had been caught masturbating in their hotel room. 

 

“Keep going” Sanghyuk’s voice was desperate almost pleading. “Please”

 

Jaehwan watched as the towel slip from Sanghyuk’s fingers letting every part of Sanghyuk come into view. Jaehwan’s eyes quickly diverted to the younger’s face. Sanghyuk’s expression was one of uncertainty chewing on his lip like he did when he wasn’t sure what to do. The younger seemed to arch off of wall facing Jaehwan brazenly putting himself on display for the elder. Jaehwan noticed how the water seemingly clung to the soft muscles of Sanghyuk’s tanned torso in the bad hotel room lighting. Jaehwan's eyes fell even lower to Sanghyuk shamelessly running his hand up and down his thick cock. 

 

“Are you sure about this?” Jaehwan’s voice was a horse whisper as his hand moved again, stroking gently against his wishes. This was stupid. Jaehwan knew this was stupid.

 

Sanghyuk thought about it for a few seconds before responding, “Yes. Please, Jaehwan.”

 

Jaehwan couldn’t help himself he almost scrambled to push his pants down further fully exposing his cock to the cold hotel air. His pants trapped his knees closer together than he would have liked, and his sweater made him far too warm for this kind of event, but he wasn’t sure how long this would last and wasting time on these kinds of things seemed wrong.

 

Jaehwan’s cock was arching to meet his stomach as he wraped his hand around himself again, and Jaehwan wanted to put on a show. He spit into his hand again and started with the head. He rubbed his thumb over the slit in his cock, smearing his precum in with his spit. He twisted gently at the head of his cock focusing on the heat of his hand and the breathy moans emitting from the younger. Just when Jaehwan felt like he couldn’t take much more of this, he wrapped his hand around the base of his cock and began to pump slowly. That did not last long as Sanghyuk’s moans grew louder seeming to hit him straight at his core. Jaehwan moved his hand faster feeling that familiar pull in his stomach. He moaned softly and tossed his head to the side again to watch Sanghyuk as his hips rose involuntarily out of rhythm to meet his hand.

 

“Fuck.” Sanghyuk moaned out his hand twisting around his cock like someone was riding it. Jaehwan watched Sanghyuk’s knees give out a little bit. One of the younger’s hands gripped the corner of the wall tight almost as if he was trying to ground himself.

 

Jaehwan’s other hand grasped his thigh, and he dug his fingers into the flesh as he felt his orgasm just within reach. His hips were meeting his hands faster than he was used to and the heat of his hand made for an oh-so-sweet sensation. Jaehwan felt his breathing get shallow as he pumped his cock faster, getting even closer to release. His eyes were locked on Sanghyuk’s large naked form. Sanghyuk seemed to be holding back as hard as he could just like Jaehwan. His breath was shallow. Sweat littered his brow and his body like the water had been earlier. His cock a brilliant shade of pink as Sanghyuk eyed Jaehwan the same. The thought of Sanghyuk watching him so intently tipped him over the edge. His hips shuttered into his fist as he moaned out Sanghyuk’s name louder than he would like to admit. His cum landing over himself and his shirt creating small spots of warmth on himself against the cold air.

 

“It’s okay, Love.” Jaehwan moaned out the familiar nickname that he had retired long ago as his hand slowly stroked his now mostly soft cock. “Cum for me.”

 

Sanghyuk groaned as he tipped his head back against the wall. His eyes appearing hooded as he rocked into his fist at an intense speed. Sanghyuk bit back little whines the closer he got to orgasm.

 

“I need more, Jahewan.” Sanghyuk turned a bright pink at the admission. “Touch me, please.”

 

Jaehwan didn’t hesitate this time. He stood from his spot on the bed, pulling on his pants as he went. Jaehwan quickly moved over to where Sanghyk was and leaned his left arm against the wall by Sanghyk’s larger figure.

 

“Are you sure?” Jaehwan whispered against his neck, one hand resting patiently beside Sanghyuk’s dick with his thumb stroking the V-line of Sanghyuk’s hips.

 

“Yes,” Sanghyuk arched into Jaehwan’s hand as one of his own shot up to entangle itself into the hair at the nape of Jaehwan’s neck. “Fuck, Jaehwan, please.”

 

Jaehwan wrapped his hand around the younger’s cock over Sanghyuk’s hand linking their fingers and he continued to stoke their cocks. Sanghyuk’s breath caught in his throat and his eyes closed tight. Jaehwan marveled at the sharp line of the younger’s jaw and the muscles that clenched and unclenched as he tried not to moan too loudly.

 

“You’re so beautiful” Jaehwan purred into the younger’s ear. “Come for me, Love”

 

 Jaehwan felt Sanghyuk’s hand slip from below his on Sanghyuk’s cock allowing him to go any speed he pleased. Sanghyuk seemed to find this tantalizing as his legs began to spasm from the intensity of his oncoming orgasm. Sanghyuk clawed at Jaehwan’s arm. His breath became shallow. His moans could barely escape his throat. Jaehwan knew him well enough to know what was coming. Sanghyuk moaned out Jaehwan’s name as he came in Jaehwan’s fist.

 

They stood there like this for a moment so that Sanghyuk could regain his equilibrium and his legs could stop shaking so violently. Jaehwan let his head fall onto Sanghyuk’s bare shoulder. He left a gentle kiss there tasting the salty sweat of the younger’s skin. Jaehwan felt Sanghyuk carding trough his hair while the other hand had a strong grip on his arm as if the younger was trying to remind himself that Jaehwan was real.

 

“That’s one way to finish what we started the other night.” Jaehwan whispered jokingly as he rubbed the V-line of Sanghyuk’s hip.

 

Sanghyuk didn’t say anything, but instead chose to push Jaehwan away with trembling hands like he had done a few nights prior. Jaehwan didn’t stop him he simply watched Sanghyuk slip back into the bathroom with a slight click of the door echoing the now vacant room.

 

Jaehwan knew not to take it personally. Sanghyuk never was one for cuddling after the fact, but this seemed to have more to do with the fact that they were supposed to stay broken up this time. Jaehwan could tell from the way Sanghyuk was hiding his face that he was most likely confused and conflicted. Jaehwan couldn’t blame him. He himself was not sure what this mean or if it meant anything at all to the younger in the course of their relationship. He tried to stop thinking about the consequences of his actions and the pool of guilt he felt in his stomach. Instead he figured it be best if he was asleep when Sanghyuk got done in the shower so that the younger didn’t feel the pressure to try and talk with him and explain himself.

 

 He used the sink outside the bathroom to clean himself off. As he cleaned himself, Jaehwan realized that Sanghyuk must not know just how loudly he was talking. Jaehwan tried to tune out the inner monologue of the younger boy, but he still caught bits and pieces. He heard Sanghyuk complain about asking Jaehwan to touch him and about being weak in his resolution. He felt like shit. He didn’t mean for Sanghyuk to feel that way. He hadn’t even meant for Sanghyuk to be there. Jaehwan felt like an ass. He didn’t mean to confuse Sanghyuk again.

 

A faint sob disrupted Jaehwan’s thoughts about his guilt. Jaehwwan couldn’t have missed what Sanghyuk said next even if he tried.

 

“I wish I could I hate him.” Sanghyuk’s voice seemed so weak. “I wish I didn’t love him.”

 

Jaehwan felt tears beguin to brim in his eyes. He hurried up cleaning himself. He couldn’t stand the fact that he made Sanghyuk so conflicted. This was never his intention. Jaehwan shuffled over to his suitcase and grabbed a pair of boxers. He slipped them on and got into bed.  Jaehwan wiped the tears that were now falling as he texted Taekwoon: “Switch rooms with me tomorrow.”

 

\---

 

Jaehwan was alone in the dorm the day after their flight arrived back in Seoul. The others had all decided to go see their lovers or go out to eat with the managers or even go work out. Not Jaehwan, He just wanted to watch TV and order some take out. Jaehwan was hoping that the last week had given Sanghuk enough time to think and he would finally want to talk, but no. He left without a word to anyone.

 

He didn’t know why but his mind kept drifting back to Sanghyuk, maybe it was because of how the previous days had gone. The morning after, he woke up and the younger was already awake on his phone. Jaehwan had tried to greet the younger, but Sanghyuk glanced at him and without a word moved to the bathroom. He choose that moment to pack his stuff and go over to the room Taekwoon was sharing with Hongbin. Taekwoon didn’t question him, and instead packed up what little he unpacked and went to check up on Sanghyuk. Hongbin, however, had bombarded Jaehwan with a thousand questions and refused take no for an answer when Sanghyuk’s mental health was on the line.

 

Hongbin had been extra kind to him during their time in Japan. He normally wasn’t one to accept pity, but Sanghyuk wasn’t keen on talking to him off stage and everyone else seemed to want to wait out their war instead of take sides leaving Jaehwan alone except for necessary interactions. Jaehwan had tried to talk to Sanghyuk on several separate occasions via orders from Hongbin and Taekwoon. He managed to fuck it up every time, not in the way of words, but in the way that he didn’t manage to get Sanghyuk to stay long enough to let him explain. After several futile attempts over the next two day, gave up. Since Hongbin and Taekwoon were still on their fixing spree, Jaehwan then began to come up with excuses, find places to be alone, and busy himself with shopping, just to avoid the annoyances. By the end of the trip, he wasn’t sure if he was avoiding Sanghyuk or if Sanghyuk was avoiding him. Either way, they managed to go almost a whole week without as much as a hello. 

 

Jaehwan had finished his take out a while ago, and the TV was barely keeping his thoughts in check. He just kept checking his messages and scrolling through Instagram. He had pulled up Sanghyuk’s messages a few times. He would type something about how sorry he was that he couldn’t keep his promise of just being band mates or how sorry he was for the night at the hotel, but he figured if Sanghyuk wanted to know his apologies or explanation, he would have let him talk in Japan instead of running away.

 

Jaehwan jumped a little when he heard the door click. No one should be back quite so soon. They had all only left about an hour ago. Jaehwan sat up on the couch and ran his hands through his hair. He really just wanted to be alone right now, but that currently wasn’t an option. He stretched out the sleepiness in his arms and sighed as he waited for someone to come bother him.

 

To his surprise, Sanghyuk appeared in the hallway. His hair was messed up like the wind had decided that his chosen style was not acceptable. He wore an old white graphic t-shirt that was wash worn and almost see through under one of Wonshik’s jean jackets that was just a little too small on him. Sanghyuk’s thighs glowed an excellent shade of tan trough the rips in the tight pair of jean that he had chosen to wear out this time. Jaehwan waited for Sanghyuk to notice him on the couch figuring he would be ignored per ritual.

 

“Is anyone else home?” Sanghyuk’s voice was faint like that of a timid creature, but the sound of his voice at all surprised Jaehwan.

 

“No” Jaehwan replied slightly relieved even by this small conversation. He wanted to erupt into an apology, but with how the last few times had gone he voted against it.

 

Sanghyuk didn’t move. He just stood there staring at Jaehwan like he had been placed under a microscope. He could almost feel Sanghyuk’s eyes starting with his face and slowly scanning over every square inch of his body. He wanted to move, but if this is what it took to take in Sanghyuk for a moment, he wasn’t going to move an inch.

 

“I want to hate you.” Sanghyuk whispered and Jaehwan could feel his heart break just ever so slightly. “Sometimes, I wish I never got to know you, to hold you,” Sanghyuk paused long enough to scan over him before frowning. “To fuck you.”

 

Jaehwan said nothing, but could feel the lump in his throat growing bigger, holding his breath in place, and his tears at bay.

 

“But I can’t. Believe me, Jaehwan, I tried.” Sanghyuk took a second as his voice broke. “Every time I get close, I see that damned smile, or listen to you sing your heart out, or hear the fucking stupid ass puns, or feel the touch of your hand on my skin, I fall for you all over again.”

 

“I-” Jaehwan paused not sure of his response. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have. The other night. I know you said you wanted it, but I shouldn’t-”

 

“Don’t.” Sanghyuk stopped him. “I did want it. It was my own inner turmoil after the fact that hated that I had caved. I have the face the consequences of my choices. Don’t go trying to make my shity self-restraint your inner conflict. If anything I violated our agreement first by getting off to you masturbating in the first place. Plus, there was nothing you did that I did not want.”

 

“I’m still sorry. I’m still the reason you’re suffering” Jaehwan replied not fully believing Sanghyuk.

 

“That’s why I’m done trying to run from you or being afraid of what we mean to each other. Over the last two months I’ve been so conflicted and I’ve tried my best to hide it. It all come to a boil the other night when we-“ Sanghyuk gestured between them with his hand. ”Fucked or whatever.”

 

Sanghyuk paused taking a deep breath as if preparing to take on the world. Jaehwan didn’t say anything as Sanghyuk took off Wonshik’s jacket and tossed it near the shoe rack. Jaehwan watch the younger rub his arms as if the chill of the room had gotten to him before settling on crossing his arms over his chest.

  
“Taekwoon helped me work through most of it. I’ve come to realize that I want you, Jaehwan, in any way I can have you. Because I can’t stand watching Hongbin having those deep conversations we used to. I hate watching Taekwoon get that smile that I used to get that breaks through so many tears. I despise Wonshik getting the cute faces and voices that were reserved for me at one point, and I get enraged watching the way Hakyeon clings to you. This last month you have driven me insane.” Sanghyuk admitted as he avoided Jaehwan’s eyes. His hands stuffed into his pockets. “Absolutely fucking insane.”

 

“Doesn’t seem that way.” Jaehwan whispered his breath catching in his throat. Jaehwan wasn’t sure what else to say. Sanghyuk’s poker face over the past month and a half was just too good. Jaehwan hated that about him. His ability to hide his real emotions behind a single blank expression. He must have learned that from Taekwoon.

 

“I want you Jaehwan.” He could hear Sanghyuk’s voice steady a bit.

 

Sanghyuk finally looked at him instead of the floor. It was only then that Jaehwan really saw him. Sanghyuk looked drained. His normally tanned skin looked pale. The color of his skin magnifying by the bags unders his eyes. There also seemed to be a faint remnant of a tear trail down the sides of his face that shook Jaehwan to the core. Jaehawn locked eyes with Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk had a look in his eyes that he hadn’t seen since they were young. It was an innocent look like he was afraid of what would come next.

 

Jaehwan felt bad for taking so long to say anything, but he wasn’t used to people liking him the same way Sanghyuk did. Where they wanted everything he would offer and not even a little less, and that scared him almost as much as being closed off scared Sanghyuk. This must have been hell for the younger, and Jaehwan wanted to end it at all costs.

 

“Then come get me.” Jaehwan said confidant in his decision.

 

“I feel like I can’t breathe when I’m around you.” The younger relaxed. Sanghyuk looked like the relief would break him just as much as the pain. Sanghyuk moved quickly to the couch and slipped into Jaehwan’s lap. The younger’s hands slid instantly to up Jaehwan’s face and he chose this moment to rest his forhead against Jaehwan’s, not allowing the elder time to think about any of this. “My heart skips a beat when I see you. I can’t fucking think when you start talking. When you touch me- fuck. When you touch me, I feel like I’m on fire.”

 

“Sanghyuk.” Jaehwan’s voice was faint.

 

Sanghyuk cut him off by kissing his lips, then his nose, then his cheeks, then lastly his forehead. Hesitantly, Jaehwan rested his hands on Sanghyuk’s thighs careful to avoid the skin peeking out from his jeans. Jaehwan would have been lying if he’s have said he hadn’t been dreaming of this. He wanted Sanghyuk so much. This all seemed like too much. They should be talking through everything, working everything out, maybe even still avoiding each other. This was not what Jaehwan was epecting and it all seemed like too much. What if Sanghyuk changed his mind? What if Jaehwan wasn’t able to work through his issues? What if Sanghyuk didn’t love him after he knew everything?

 

“Wait.” Jaehwan pushed gently at Sanghyuk’s shoulders hating the fact that he had to stop him but knowing he would hate himself more if he didn’t. “I can’t do this. I can’t let you break the promise we made unless you are sure this is what you want. There is a lot we have to work out, and you know how hard that is for me. Sanghyuk, I don’t want to hurt you again. Are you sure this is what you want?”

 

“I want this.” The younger said without hesitation. Sanghyuk’s hands slipped under Jaehwan’s shirt. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about it and I’m sure, Jaehwan. I’m sorry that I made you suffer. I didn’t meant to. I want to be with you, if that’s what you want too.”

 

“It is.” Jaehwan whispered. “I miss you, you ass.”

 

“I missed you too.” Sanghyuk replied just as softly, before laughing at himself. “I sound like an idiot.”

 

“You always sound like an idiot.” Jaehwan commented grabbing two full handfuls of Sanghyuk’s ass.

 

“You love that about me.” Sanghyuk commented as he leaned in to kiss Jaehwan.

 

The kiss started off chaste. Jaehwan’s hands stayed where they were on Jaehwan’s ass sitting still as Sanghyuk kissed him, relishing in the way the younger’s skin felt against his own. Jaehwan let Sanghyuk pepper kisses all along his jawline. Sanghyuk leaned back on Jaehwan’s lap as his fingers slipping down Jaehwn’s neck.

 

“Again.” Jaehwan’s voice was lower as he ordered Sanghyuk.

 

Jaehwan was surprised that Sanghyuk obeyed so quickly. Their mouths meeting again this time tasting the other slowly. Sanghyuk’s hands began to roam Jaehwan’s chest aimlessly as if trying to remember the shape underneath him. Sanghyuk’s tounge slipped out to lick at Jaehwan’s lips and then inside the younger’s mouth making their tongues dance. Jaehwan felt himself getting hard from all the attention Sanghyuk was giving him. He moaned into the younger’s mouth unintentionally pushing his crotch up against the younger reveling in the way the softness of his sweatpants felt against his cock.

 

“Shit.” Sanghyuk gasped arching into Jaehwan grinding back down into the elder.

 

Jaehwan took this opportunity to rid himself of his t-shirt that seemed only to be in the way of Sanghyuk’s hands prowling his bare skin. Sanghyuk’s hands went right back to what they were doing as if hadn’t noticed the lack of material there. Jaehwan let Sanghyuk kiss at his collar bones as one of his meandering hands played with one of his nipples. Jaehwan gasped grinding up into Sanghyuk again this time groping at his ass as he did so.

 

Jaehwan stilled when Sanghyuk reconnected their mouths. Jaehwan’s hands came up to gently caress the younger’s neck as they kissed to keep him from pulling away anytime soon wanting to taste the faint flavors that still lingered in Sanghyuk’s mouth for fear that this all would just be a dream. He felt Sanghyuk’s hands gently come to rest on his waist fingers curling into his flesh. He felt one of the younger’s hands slip beneath the waistband of his sweats.

 

“Not here.” Jaehwan gasped as he grabbed harshly at Sanghyuk’s wrist. “Someone might come home.”

 

“Fine.” Sanghyuk quickly removed himself from Jaehwan, scrabbling to pull Jaehwan with him to the elder’s room.

 

Jaehwan went willingly. Sanghyuk pushed him backwards attacking his lips with needy kisses as they tried not to trip on each other’s feet. His hands caught in Sanghyuk’s belt loops as he was pushed backwards through the doorway towards the bed. Jaehwan’s mind spinning with images of what would happen next.

 

Sanghyuk pushed him down onto his bed before crawling on top of him. Jaehwan watched Sanghyuk pull off the t-shirt he had been wearing and toss it somewhere in the room. Jaehwan ran his hands over the faint muscles of Sanghyuk’s abs; his nails scraping ever so slightly at the divots made by the younger’s muscles. Jaehwan admired the way Sanghyuk’s muscles moved under his touch caving and reacting to his ice cold fingers as the younger bent over to kiss him again.

 

Sanghyuk’s lips moved to Jaehwan’s neck, roaming until Sanghyuk caught that spot on Jaehwan’s neck that drove him insane. Jaehwan gasped softly arching against the rough material of Sanghyuk’s jeans. Jaehwan bit gently at his kiss swollen lips trying very hard to keep himself from clawing at the muscles of Sanghyuk’s forearms. He settled instead for Jaehwan hadn’t even realized his fingers were shaking until he was trying to undo Sanghyk’s leather belt.

 

“Fuck, Sanghyuk. I can’t-” Jaehwan said dropping his hands helplessly from Sanghyuk’s belt.

 

Jaehwan frowned as the younger removed himself from Jaehwans lap to unclothe himself, but couldn’t help the thrill he felt when the jeans that had been teasing him revealed those plush thighs he loved so much. Jaehwan slipped out of his own cloths not giving Sanghyuk a chance to remove them himself as Sanghyuk moved to the bedside table to grab some condoms and lube.

 

“I wanted to do that.” Sanghyuk complained as he crawled back on top of Jaehwan’s body.

 

“Too bad.” Jaehwan couldn't help but grin at him.

 

Jaehwan let his shaking hands come to rest on the younger’s thick thighs as his eyes traveled up to Sanghyuk’s face. Sanghyuk’s eyes were hooded one side of his mouth was upturned in a slight smile. Sanghyuk wasted no time grinding down sensually rubbing against Jaehwan’s bare crotch. Jaehwan hummed in approval. His shaking fingers gripped onto the younger’s thighs in a lame attempt to keep his own hips at bay.

 

“Fuck, Sanghyuk.” Jaehwan closed his eyes trying to catch his breath and settle his hands. “Are you going to fuck me or what?”

 

“No.” Sanghyuk said as the pop from the lube cap made it’s way to Jaehwan’s ears. “You’ll fuck me.”

 

Jaehwan’s eyes opened to see Sanghyuk’s face scrunched in concentation as the younger’s hand disappeared behind his body.

 

“You don’t have to-”

 

“I need to.” Sanghyuk stated, his arm moving too fast for Jaehwan’s liking.

 

Jaehwan slid a hand around Sanghyuk’s body and towards his ass. Jaehawan’s fingers danced near Sanghyuk’s. Jaehwan opened his mouth to ask for permission to do this wishing to go slower and take him time, but was stopped short when  the younger’s free hand yanked one hand and then the other about his head and pinning them to the bed.

 

 “Don’t” was all Sanghyuk said, but the grip he had on Jaehwan’s wrist said it all. Sanghyuk held him tight almost too tight like he was afraid that Jaehwan’s hands on him would scare him away or worse make him feel everything that was going on. It was better to pin Jaehwan’s roaming hands to the bed as a leverage point rather than feel like he was the one being examined and put on display. Jaehwan vaguely remembered doing something similar to Sanghyuk one of the first times they had sex.

 

Jaehwan didn’t struggle against the elder’s wishes instead choosing to let Sanghyuk put on his show. Sanghyuk began to grind down on his fingers just enough to cause his cock to rut softly against Jaehwan’s. He held back form rutting upwards against the younger trying to give sanghyuk the all controlling power he was so faintly begging for. He watched Sanghyuk’s head fall forwards and his bangs cover his closed eyes as he added another finger.

 

Jaehwan kept his hands above his head as Sanghyuk grabbed the condom that was sitting nearby deciding that he was ready. Jaehwan whined as Sanghyuk grabbed his cock and rolled on the condom for him giving Jaehwan a few good pumps before aligning himself over his cock.

 

Sanghyuk slid down slowly gasping for breath as he did so. Jaehwan bit his lip to distract him from the feeling of Sanghyuk encompassing him and to keep himself from thrusting upwards into the younger’s helpless form.

 

“Fucking Hell, Sanghyuk.” Jaehwan cursed as he attached his hands to the head board to keep them form grabbing desperately at Sanghyuk’s tanned skin.

 

 Once Sanghyuk had managed to slide all the way to the base of his cock, he sat there for a minute. Jaehwan kept his breathing even with Sanghyuk’s trying as much to calm himself down as to calm the other man. Jaehwan relaxed some when Sanghyuk rested his already shaking hands on Jaehwan’s shoulders.

 

“Do you want to stop?” Jaehwan asked gently brushing Sanghyuk’s sticky bangs form his face. “Am I hurting you?”

 

“No. No.” Sanghyuk replied. “It’s just- It’s a lot in a good way.”

 

“Okay.” After taking a minute to stroke Sanghyuk's dick, Jaehwan moved his hand back to the head board as not to over whelm the younger. “Try to move.”

 

Sanghyuk took in a shaky breath before raising ever so slightly and falling back down, groaning as he did so. Sanghyuk closed his eyes seeming to think for a second before rocking his hips in a larger motion causing both of them to let out a low groan of pleasure. The feeling of Sanghyuk clenching around him was a delicious contrast to the grip on his shoulder. Sanghyuk did the motion again this time moaning out Jaehwan’s name as he rocked over and over again pushing him both closer to what they wanted. Sanghyuk seemed to try to set a rhythm, but couldn’t seem to maintain it in any way, pausing randomly to steady himself and start the sweet low pace that never quite seemed to be enough. Jaehwan moved one hand down to Sanghyuk’s leaking cock keeping a steady pace there where Sanghyuk couldn't. Jaehwan knew he was making the younger’s rhythm worse, but the whines Sanghyuk was emitting made him forget about the pace.

 

When Sanghyuk paused again, Jaehwan found himself gripping harshly at Sanghyuk’s hips to freeze him in place. The younger was panting hard. His brow and chest slick with sweat. His biceps quivered as he held himself up against Jaehwan. Jaehwan took this moment to thrust upwards pushing his cock deep inside Sanghyuk. The younger gasped sharply moving one hand to cover Jaehwan’s. Jaehwan did it again, hoping to hear that sweet noise again; Sanghyuk whined instead.

 

“Don’t move.” Sanghyuk said cautiously, one hand coming to rest on Jaehwan’s hips for a mere second as if begging him for mercy. “Please.”

 

He felt like he was drowning looking at Sanghyuk’s scrunched up face as the younger focused hard on what he was trying to do. The feeling of Sanghyuk so hard under the grasp of his otherwise useless hand. It was all too much. Sanghyuk was giving him everything he could, everything he’d asked him for in the past. He could tell from this agonizingly slow pace that what the younger had bitten off more than he could manage with the emotions inside him filling up. Jaehwan concentrated on the feeling of Sanghyuk clenching around him as the younger’s nails dug into the flesh of Jaehwan’s shoulder for a few moments almost as if to get pay back for the worry of the last week. Jaehwan took mercy on him when he felt the younger’s legs shake violently as he tried to lift himself up again, but failing to get anywhere.

 

“Get up.” Jaehwan ordered tapping the younger’s leg. “Lay on your stomach.”

 

“No, I want- I’m supposed to be making you feel good.” Sanghyuk mumbled.

 

“You are. Fuck, you are. Let me fuck you, Sanghyuk.” Jaehwan thrust his hips upwards. Sanghyuk gasped nails clawing at his shoulders again, “Let me do the work.”

 

Sanghyuk complied slipping off of the elder slowly, carefully still shaking. Jaehwan moved out of the younger’s way to let him lay down on his stomach. Jaehwan ran a hand through Sanghyuks hair that had been dampened with sweat as he rolled on top of the younger’s sweaty body.

 

“You’re doing so well, Love. You’re shaking.” Jaehwan whispered into Sanghyuk’s ear as he kissed him just below it. His elbows keeping him propped up on either side of Sanghyuk. “We can stop if it’s too much.”

 

“Don’t you dare stop.” Sanghyuk let out a whine as he tried to move his ass against Jaehwan. “Please. Fuck me.”

 

Jaehwan slid his cock back inside the younger hearing him moan into the pillows as he did. Jaehwan kissed at the side of Sanghyuk’s neck.

 

“What do you want me to do?” Jaehwan whispered into his ear. “You’ve been so good love.”

 

Sanghyuk ground back against him, but couldn’t get any friction with the elder essentially laying on top of him.

 

“Tell me.” Jaehwan demanded.

 

“Fuck me.” Sanghyuk pleaded.

 

Jaehwan smiled into the crook of the younger’s neck as he snapped his hips forward going deeper inside of Sanghyuk. The younger scrambled for his something to hold onto finding Jaehwan's hands. He interlocked their fingers and pulled the arms towards his chest. Jaehwan let him and choose instead to rest on the younger’s back.

 

 “Slowly.” Sanghyuk requested turning his head to kiss at Jaehwan’s lips. ” I don’t think I can take much more of this.”

 

Jaehwan snapped his hips forwards again able to feel the younger trapped under him grind against the bed and back into him. Jaehwan tried his best to keep his pace slow and steady, kissing Sanghyuk to distract him from the want to pound into him like he wished he could. Jaehwan rocked gently as he could with the sounds of the distraught helpless moans filling his mouth from the younger who was falling apart as much as he was with each passing second building inside him making him feel like he wouldn’t make it to the end.

 

Jaehwan detached himself from Sanghyuk’s lips when the younger couldn’t manage to kiss him back. His mind now focused on the feeling of Jaehwan’s thick cock sliding in and out of him at a devastatingly slow pace. Jaehwan then attached his lips to the skin of Sanghyuk’s shoulder creating a few pretty purple marks on the younger’s skin, but knowing he shouldn’t. The salty sweat of Sanghyuk’s skin tasted like heaven to him right now and he just couldn’t help himself. These were going to be a bitch to cover up, and Sanghyuk would beat the shit out of him for it.

 

The closer he got to his climax the more he seemed to be falling apart. His rhythm becoming messy and quicker as the feeling built in his stomach. Jaehwan felt Sanghyuk bend one of his legs trying to give Jaehwan better access to his ass and a better angle to grind into the mattress. Jaehwan pried a hand from Sanghyuk’s grip to slip between the younger’s body and the matress giving Sanghyuk the friction on his cock that he was so badly craving. Jaehwan tried to match Sanghyuk’s thrusts into his hand, but the younger was still to slow for Jaehwan’s liking.

 

“Jaehwan.” Sanghyuk moaned. “I’m so close.”

 

“Me too.” Jaehwan whispered as he pounded faster into the younger loving how each thrust pulled some sort of sound form Sanghyuk’s throat almost as if the mere feeling of Jaehwan inside of him was enough to destroy every aspect of his being.

 

Jaehwan felt Sanghyuk tear his hands from his to grasp helplessly at the sheets his ass clenching and unclenching around the elder’s cock like he had no control over the wave of pleasure that was about to tear through his body. Jaehwan used his free hand to try and get a new angle to thrust faster, deeper trying to take in all of Sanghyuk unsure when or if he would get the chance to do this again. Sanghyuk cried out Jaehwan’s name as he came helplessly onto the sheets and Jaehwan’s hand. His body clenching around Jaehwan as his muscles shook violently under the elder. Jaehwan thrust faster through Sanghyuk’s orgasm pushing the center of Sanghyuk’s back harshly into the matters as he came inside the younger moaning out helpless whispers of the other’s name.

 

They stayed like that for a moment sweaty, sticky, cum covered messes intertwined in each other’s embrace. Jaehwan would be lying if he said he was sure Sanghyuk would stay in bed with him happy and content with the choice he had made, or that Sanghyuk would be here in the morning in his arms or that he would kiss him tomorrow. Hell, Jaehwan wasn’t even sure that this was real and not a dream of his own making. Sanghyuk cleared his throat effectively pulling Jaehwan form the intrusive self-doubting thoughts, and tapped at the elder’s bare thighs. Jaehwan pulled out slowly, careful to not hurt the younger.

 

“I love you.” Jaehwan stated boldly, making the first move.

 

“I love you too.” Sanghyuk whispered turning slightly to kiss Jaehwan like he was the only air left in his lungs. Jaehwan kissed him back helplessly. They smiled into the kiss causing both of them to laugh like idiots at each other and themselves.

 

“I didn’t know you got so vocal.” Jaehwan joked as he fell back on the pillow feeling like he just ran a mile. Jaehwan pulled the condom off careful not to get cum everywhere. “Just imagine if I actually got to pound you like I wanted to.”

 

“You’d be surprised” Sanghyuk laid himself on Jaehwan’s chest as one of his free hands carded through Jaehwan’s sweat drenched hair. “how vocal you get when I fuck you.”

 

Jaehwan hummed happily at the memory of the younger pounding him into the bed room wall carelessly while no one was home.

 

“We will have to do that.” Jaehwan said as he grabbed the younger’s ass.

 

Sanghyuk rolled off of Jaehwan and rolled his eyes like Jaehwan had ruined some imaginary moment. “I want to shower.”

 

“So, no round 2?” Jaehwan asked sadly.

 

“That depends on if you want shower sex or not.” Sanghyuk teased as he slauntered out of Jaehwan’s bedroom completely nude for any prying eyes to see.

 

“Fuck, yes.” Jaehwan exclaimed as he jumped up quickly following after Sanghyuk.

 

**Author's Note:**

> All parts of this series can be read independently and are based off of videos/ pictures that i've seen and inspired me because there is not enough Hyuken fan fics. I'm terrible at updating regularly or at all just FYI, but i'll try. <3 This one is Inspired by the drunk Dingo Sentist video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ntozCMcu_4 Hyuken moments: 250-308 hyuk pours drink for jae and gives him cap jae confused 325ish “hyungnim, hyungnim” Whole time jae does shit ton of glancing at hyuk  
> Then their tip to japan for the concert soon after inspired the rest.


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